Charlemagne is Crowned
On Christmas Day, the Pope drops a crown on a Frankish king's head and declares the Roman Empire is back. Charlemagne pretends to be surprised.
0 The Battle of Tours
Charles Martel and the Franks stop a massive Umayyad invasion in central France. Basically decides whether Europe stays Christian.
0 The Vikings Raid Lindisfarne
Long ships appear out of the fog, monks get slaughtered in their own monastery, and Europe learns a new word: Viking.
0 Alfred the Great
An English king on the run from the Vikings hides in a swamp, regroups, and ends up the only English ruler called 'the Great.'
0 The Battle of Hastings
William of Normandy invades England, fakes a retreat, and an arrow goes through King Harold's eye. England is never the same.
0 The First Crusade
The Pope calls for holy war. 60,000 Europeans march 2,000 miles, take Jerusalem, and massacre everyone inside. The blood reportedly came up to the horses' knees.
0 Thomas Becket Murdered
King Henry II yells 'will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?' Four knights take him literally and murder the archbishop in his own cathedral.
0 Richard the Lionheart
An English king who barely speaks English spends his entire reign on Crusade or in prison. His brother John runs the country into the ground at home.
0 The Magna Carta
Furious barons corner King John in a meadow and force him to sign away his absolute power. The first paper limit on a king. Ever.
0 The Fourth Crusade Sacks Constantinople
Crusaders heading for Jerusalem run out of money, get hired by Venice, and sack the biggest Christian city in the world instead.
0 The Templars Destroyed
The richest knights in Europe get arrested in one coordinated raid on Friday the 13th. Their leader is burned alive. The French king takes their gold.
0 The Black Death
A plague riding on rats and fleas wipes out a third of Europe in four years. People paint dancing skeletons everywhere.
0 The Hundred Years' War
England and France fight over the French throne for 116 years. Longbows, knights, plague, and Joan of Arc. Nobody really wins.
0 Joan of Arc
An illiterate teenage farmgirl says God told her to lead the French army. She does. The English burn her alive at 19. Centuries later they make her a saint.
0 The Wars of the Roses
Two branches of the same English royal family kill each other for 32 years over which color rose is better. Game of Thrones is basically this.
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